For the past month I have had an internal struggle between the easy going side of me and the super intense, super competitive, give it your all side of me.
I have quit the cross country team, because of a bad case of tendentious in my knees. Which I recognize as a smart decision. But now I still find the desire in me, to stay in my 50 mile a week shape. This is close to impossible without dedicated 3-4 hours a day of cross training and swimming.
Talking to my trainer about it, and hearing that I can not stay in that shape without running. Helped me realize I need to stop trying to stay in that shape, and ease up on the multiple works outs in one day.
But the clash continued of wanting to stay in good running shape for hopefully the bearathon next spring. But knowing I should be going easy on my knees, to help them fully recover.
Something hit me this weekend, and I realized I am already in above average shape. So I stopped pushing myself so hard. I kept telling myself I don't have to be in the great running shape, I can ease back in to it. I also should focus on having fun instead of killing myself in each workout.
The only thing I can't silence is the question in the back of my head if I will be in good enough shape to do the bearathon? I want to try and do it at least one year, since I could not do it this year because of a different injury to my knee.
But I have resolved to take it down a few notches, and do it because I want to be healthy and strong.
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